I was only speechless for a moment.

So, in the face of this whole mess regarding Jessica Valenti's book--I'm not going to bother linking to the lot of it, it's sort of hard to miss and I've mostly said my piece--I come across this comment, from "Layla," in Jill's apologetic post on Feministe:

Jill, you apologize for yourself and your views way too much. You most certainly did not ‘fuck up’ — and I’m saying this as a past critic of Jessica and as a ‘woman of color.’ Which is a stupid term — my color is only skin deep and I don’t define myself by it.
Jessica is anything but a ‘marginalizer’ — and as a feminist, let me tell you, white women are no more privileged than any others. As far as our biology, our sex, goes, we are all equally oppressed or liberated. If ‘women of color’ are more oppressed, it’s more because of class and culture reasons than by reason of their sex. Feminism is the great equalizer, and frankly, these self-absorbed women of color (and admittedly, I am self-absorbed too, but at least I don’t expect everyone else to be absorbed in my issues as well) need to get a fucking grip and lay off Jessica. One would think Jessica had just single-handedly managed to fuck things up for ‘women of color.’

I cannot let this go. First, Layla, you invalidate the self-identification of women of color, going so far as to put scare quotes around the term every time it comes up. You're--let me get this straight--a 'woman of color' denying other women's prerogative to identify with or organize around their race, or even to call themselves by such a name--it's "stupid," among other things, because "color is only skin deep."

That's cute. You continue by suggesting that there is no differential of privilege between white women and women of color--we're all Equally Oppressed As Women, which you present as the "as a feminist" position--and any differences can be explained away by class (saying something about yourself, here?) or "culture" (it's the brown men hurting their brown women more? Pray tell.). Saying otherwise is "self-absorbed" whining. Advocating otherwise is expecting everyone else to get "absorbed" in your (pet) (self-absorbed) issues. "Get a fucking grip."

Layla, I don't care what color you are: that's some racist bullshit. Really? Are you seriously saying that the world's systemic treatment of white women and women of color is the same, only affected by economic class? Because last I checked, that's pretty much saying that the world's systemic treatment of white people and people of color is the same, that we're all "equally oppressed or liberated." Maybe you're being sloppy; that's my most charitable guess. The only other explanation is that you're claiming there's no such thing as racism.

Let's let that sink in for a second.

Wait, I'm sorry. Color is only skin deep, right? We can all choose to just be unaffected by it, if we don't identify ourselves by the color of our skin. I mean, it's just that we're buying into this system that it affects us--or, wait, doesn't, since there's no differential of privilege in this world based on skin color. Sorry, got stupid and self-absorbed there for a second.

The rest of us live in a world where we have to deal with the consequences of other people's assumptions about us, treatment of us, and oppression of us based on their perceptions of the color of our skin and the homes of our ancestors, whether we like it or not. We have to live with and work against systems--political, social, economic--biased on those grounds. Sometimes we choose to pay attention to those things, note why they happen, and try and get together to talk about them or make them stop happening. Pretending they don't is a one-way ticket to getting our asses kicked. So yeah--we're "people of color." We're "women of color." A lot of us whiny babies identify that way, in no small part, because it helps us find each other and work together. It's called an "anti-racist movement."
As it so happens, a lot of "as a feminist" types have noticed this, too. They pay attention to things like history, or colonialism, or racism, or anything in front of their noses. And they manage to be good feminists, somehow, even though they acknowledge that there are multiple axes of oppression and they intersect now and then.

Then again, you did just claim that racism doesn't exist. And I can only imagine that--seeing as I've heard the assertions you made come out of white people who don't know better many times, but never, ever out of a person of color--that either you're not really who you say you are, that you pass enough as white never to deal with these things, that you are missing at least four of your senses, or that you are benefitting from such overwhelming privilege along other axes, like the economic one, that you have the luxury of ignoring what the rest of us deal with. I'm not sure which set of conditions is the most flattering for you, but I certainly don't like to call people liars about their self-identified racial background, so that sort of narrows things down.

In this conversation? After this blowup? I can only equate it to the women I know who say, hey, those feminists sure are whiners, because I can't think of any time I had any problems to deal with based on being a woman as opposed to a man. After all, I can get my boyfriend to do just about anything for me, and women have a certain kind of power, too, and I live pretty comfortably, and, and...anyway, I don't know what they're always complaining about. "Sexism" is pretty stupid. Way to be self-absorbed.

How about, instead of telling the rest of us what the world is like for us, sister, you step off. And on your way out? Check your motherfucking privilege.